scarlet
by viennacantabile
Summary: four drabbles from kurogane's perspective: one journey, so many worlds, and still he can't forget her.
1. routine

Note: this is basically just a collection of drabbles, in reverse order, from our favorite ninja's point of view. I subscribe to the belief that though Kurogane says little, we should all be interested in what he _doesn't_ say. This would be my stab at it. The title refers to Kurogane's eye color, and also the color most associated with him (other than black). Why is none of it capitalized, you ask? Because: a) it all takes place in his mind, more or less, or b) I thought it looked better. Take your pick. :)

Disclaimer: I am but a poor student playing with characters not of her own making. So please refrain from suing me. :)

Fair warning: Though the fangirl in me squees at the thought of the eventual adorable KuroganexFai hookup that CLAMP is clearly heading for, I still firmly believe in my beloved Tomogane/KuroTomo/etc pairing. w00t. I actually have another kuroxtomo in the works, but this happened to get finished first. So here you go!

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scarlet : routine

.

kurogane is a little bit surprised at how easy it is to fall into the old routine of protecting the princess.

of course, there are differences—pure and sugary and luck-happy though sakura is, she cannot even come close to tomoyo, in his mind. not in a million years. she's too—rabbitty, is the word that automatically comes to mind, though he can't imagine why. too cute and too fluffy and just too damn _rabbitty_.

and of course, too, there's the fact that kurogane thinks that the kid will slaughter anyone else who dares to claim sakura as his princess. whether or not the kid is ready to use hien (and he's not, far from it, but he's learning, it won't be long now). which is all beside the point, anyway.

and the point?

protecting princesses comes all too easily for him. though kurogane knows he is someone who needs a purpose in life, a reason to wake up in the morning, he hadn't realized it'd gotten to be _routine_. the point, he understands now, is that it's just not the same, guarding a princess who isn't _her_. in a way, he supposes, the kid would feel the same about tomoyo.

a scowl crosses kurogane's face at the thought. bad enough that she sent him off to worlds unknown. worse to be thinking about the kid—or even souma—taking his place.

not gonna happen, he vows. they've got enough to be going on with, anyway.

in the end, it's good that sakura is here, he figures, so that he can keep in practice. but all the practice in the world—or worlds, he amends with a glower—cannot keep him from longing to return to _his_ princess, to _his_ duty—his purpose for living. as hard as it is to consider, kurogane privately admits it—he _misses_ that tried-and-true routine of saving the princess from the bad guys.

so he'll keep world-hopping. he'll take down the villains and protect the princess—no reason not to, after all. for sure he'll keep an eye on that wizard. he might even train the kid up a bit. but in the end, after all the furor has died down and they've done their part in saving the universe, kurogane knows that he will return to tomoyo, and end his days in her service.

that is, if he doesn't kill her for sending him away in the first place.

.

.end.

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P.S. I enjoy reviews, by the way. :)


	2. puppets

Note: this was inspired by the little moment in chapitre 4 when Sorata mentioned he owed Yuuko-san a favor while looking at an uncomfortable Arashi. I took it to mean that Yuuko granted his wish to be with Arashi.

And thank you, lovely readers, for the reviews. :)

Disclaimer: CLAMP is pack of geniuses, I am not; therefore, I am not CLAMP.

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puppets

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kurogane thinks that maybe he understands the crazy man with the puppets, just a little bit.

of course, they're nothing alike. kurogane is an imperial ninja of nihon. puppet-san is a crazy history teacher in a crazy republic that worships tigers just a bit too much and has eight million gods. maybe kurogane's a little prejudiced about this: all his life, he's only had one god—goddess, actually, because what else is she to him?

the answer to this is, for both men, everything.

it is this single duty that kurogane and puppet-san have in common: they've each got their own miko to protect. it doesn't quite matter that the history teacher's miko's hung up her hakama, or that she is now just an apartment manager and chef extraordinaire. somehow, the difference between her and the princess-miko of nihon is not so very big, after all.

and kurogane thinks that he can understand the price puppet-san paid to that witch, to be able to keep protecting that miko for the rest of his life. it is something not so very different from the blood price he himself had to pay to meet his princess. and though he has questioned, in the past, whether the price was worth it, kurogane knows that she is the only reason he lives now.

these days, kurogane envies the crazy man—just a little. though it isn't perfectly to his taste, he wonders what it would be like to be able to live a quiet life with his miko-princess—in suwa, perhaps. to not have to worry that some lord or magician might be plotting against her life. to sheath his sword and relax her wards. to just be ordinary people, with ordinary lives.

so even though the history teacher is clearly manic, insane, and far too trusting of the kid, kurogane, if he so chooses, can see beyond the puppets and eccentricity. and when he does, though he will never admit it, he recognizes far more of himself in puppet-san than the man will ever know.

.

.end.

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P.S. Reviews are like cookies: you can never have too much of them.

P.P.S. next chapter is called why. why? read it to find out. :)


	3. why

note: as this is ridiculously short, i don't expect to get any reviews. but i'd be more than happy to be proved wrong. :D

disclaimer: i worship clamp, supernatural creators of kurogane.

btw: older!tomoyo fanart! dot com/gallery.

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why

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because she reached into the darkness and saved him from himself. because she laid his mother and father to rest. because she gave him back his sword and his soul. and because he needs her more than he's needed anyone in his life. and kurogane, for all his roughness and crude exterior, knows true beauty when he sees it.

after all, he had a mother, once.

.

.end.

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p.s.: see? short. but the last drabble, "options," is much longer. i promise. :)


	4. options

Note: last of the four, yay. Set before Tomoyo sent him flying away.

Disclaimer: all hail CLAMP.

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options

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_kurogane_, her small voice sighs. and though he will not admit it, her soft reproach cuts him to the quick.

_they came to kill you!_ he protests.

_and so we bring them to trial. murder, even well-intentioned murder, is never the only path we have to take, kurogane._

the ninja stands stock-still. he does not, he cannot agree. in his world, there is only one person who matters, and if her safety is threatened, kurogane will not hesitate to do what is necessary.

so of course he doesn't care who he has to kill in order to protect her, or how many lives he must take in her defense. that anyone would dare send assassins to her is an insult, and it is his pleasure to inform them of their mistake.

sometimes, kurogane wonders about the power this one tiny girl has on him. it is inconceivable that so small and gentle a girl could have the ability to quell the raging beast that lies inside of him, but she is the one salvation he has ever had. and she is the only one who sees the equally small kurogane who still wishes he could go back to the days of fathers and climbing trees and mothers and absolute trust.

when he is with her, kurogane thinks about his parents more than he does around anyone else. he still thinks he could have—should have been able to save them. his miko-mother, felled by an unknown assassin. his father, finally defeated by a monster demon. he should have stayed, with one or both of them. he could have protected her. he should have fought with him.

so he will give the rest of his life—and death, if that should happen—to Her.

because kurogane won't make that fatal mistake again. he won't fail, he can't fail, because failure, in the game that he is playing, is not an option.

.

.end.

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P.S. Chocolate-chip cookies to anyone who reviews. :)


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